Detox.

I’m going to take some advice from John Mayer.

I’m going to disconnect. Disappear for a while.

One reason being, I desperately need to concentrate on work.

The other, and sometimes bigger reason I feel, is because I’m losing touch with myself.

I’m more in touch with my keyboard and monitor and Facebook and Twitter than myself.

It’s a false sense of closeness, online. 

And often I’ve noticed at the cost of real relationships.

Don’t get me wrong.

I think Facebook and Twitter are awesome. 

But I think my use of them is more a misuse now.

I need to do something about it. I’ve felt this need for a while.  So, I finally am!

And hopefully, it will last.

I work on the computer for most things. This is probably how it starts.

I mean, whom am I kidding when I think, 

‘Well, since I’m on the comp anyway, and this is a Wi-Fi zone, what’s the harm in leaving Facebook on in another window?”?

Myself. That’s who.

I’ve managed to kid myself, many times in the past. Sometimes, I still do.

But maybe the war between my warped sense of humour and my conscience is finally tipping in my conscience’s favour.

Besides, like Mayer said;

How many artists have produced their best work while being predominantly occupied with ‘being out there’?

Not that I’m on the brink of producing my Mona Lisa or anything. But I’d like for it to be a possibility.

And that’s the work front. There’s a personal need to disconnect too.

I find myself wallowing in self pity sometimes taking false comfort in facebook, in things that mean nothing really. I’m shying away from many things in the real world that I need to face head on.

And sometimes, I feel like since I can’t be out there ‘hanging’ everyday, I’d be forgotten.

Well, I’m too bloody memorable for that. So I need to suck it, and get to work and stop pretending like being connected is for the greater good. ‘Cos that really is a load of crap.

The people who matter will be around, whether I’m accessible 24/7 or not!

And those who really miss me would seek me out if I happened to take the disappearing too far.

So I’m signing out, for a while; just so that I can start tuning in.

This is a personal thing. So I really don’t need anyone throwing it in my face or throwing me “let’s see how long this lasts” taunts. If it doesn’t… well, then it wasn't supposed to. But, it will.

I don’t even want to discuss why... Those reasons are even more personal than any of THIS^ stuff.

I’ll blog when I feel like. And I’ll still be on gmail, if you need to get in touch and if my phone’s not working. (It’s got a life of its own, that thing!) And I suppose I’m putting it out there through my writing because, as much as I don’t want to discuss it, I want it to be there. In the open.

A constant reminder of my reasoning and as my word. 

Something I’ll feel a greater need to be accountable for.

So for now, let’s call this detox. (Sorry Aru, I’m stealing.) 

At least, till the 23^rd, or whenever that last paper is.