New Resolve

I think it's fine and dandy to make a list of things you want to accomplish and feel excited and happy for a little while.
I do this about 5 times a year.
And every time, I make a zestful phone call to one of my closest friends and tell them all about how THIS time is different. THIS time I cannot be stopped.
And then the excitement fades.
Habits aren't needs but they pretend very well.
The reality of how hard it is to really change kicks in.
And tra-la-la-la-la, 20 days down the line I'm back to where I was just before I started to make a list.
Doing what I know how to do.
Being the way I'm comfortable.
Too afraid or too lazy to change.
Once again, on the inevitable road back to feeling miserable about the failure of yet another attempt at taking control of things and making them go my way.


I don't believe in new years resolutions.
I do believe in trying harder though.
I'm aware that after trying repeatedly, it's really ok to ask for some help.
And to accept help being thrust upon me even if I feel too proud to concede that I need it.


I think new years resolutions are really wishlists.
It's what you wish would just happen.
It's very easy to forget or rather, not think about what really needs to be put into making resolutions reality.
This time, I'm just going to give everything another shot.
I've had perspective hit me like a rum-soaked raisin (They're strong!) in these last few days.
And I feel a new resolve.
I'm not going to say that it's different from anything I've felt before, or that it's the same.
I'm just going to try and do what I know I need to do.


Happy New Year everyone.
I hope you know what you want from it and that 'the universe conspires to help you get it'.