It's hard to believe how time flies.
It's thoroughly amazing how much things change and how much they remain the same.
So far, a good year indeed.
Especially for one I consciously started 5 days late because I didn't want to start it sick.
21st year of my life and I'm getting all "new year reminiscent" a little early I think?!
But no! I'm just in one of those "retrospective" moods.
There's still so much left to do in the next two months.
There's so much to do before December!
Ok. There's LOTS to do even before I leave for a trip next week.
It never changes.
There's always lots to handle, just different days to handle it on and different moods to handle it with.
As of today,
I've never felt stronger and I've never felt weaker,
I've never been more sure and I've never been more uncertain,
I've never wanted to runaway more and I couldn't be happier to be right here,
I've never been more scared and I've never felt this brave,
I've never been so lost or found
and
I've never been more vague while feeling crystal clear.
It's overwhelmingly indescribable sometimes.
But it keeps things fresh.
It's painfully agonizing.
And a strange kind of bliss.
It's like dancing to no music or eating cold chicken.
It's not how it's normally done, but still oddly enjoyable.
I suppose there really is no sense to be made of the chaos we live.
And somehow it's just enough to know that we feel.
To accept the good with the bad and happy with the sad.
It's just enough to be in love with all the imperfection.
Taking it as it comes, sometimes hurrying it up and sometimes slowing it down.
Sometimes staying stationary, watching the world breathe.
And, sometimes getting so far ahead of yourself, you forget what you're like.
Well, hello November.
This is from the only place I've ever been and the one I hardly know.
I might feel like I'm steering my car through space without a navigation system,
but, the wind in my hair feels really good.
If you want to grab a hold, let it go.
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