Random Party: December 2010

Dear Jake

I won't ever forget how you played and sang it.

The upside is, there's no more imagining for you.

You leave behind much love,

we carry yours in our hearts.

Make sure you miss us lesser beings now, once in a while.

'Cause we most certainly will miss you.

We're so silly for thinking that time is on our side, sometimes.

For all the times we shared, whether it was jamming at Furtados, or practicing for duets to sing on stage, or getting fat on your awesome lemon pie, just to name a few... I'm thankful.

I'm just glad I knew you.

You won't ever be forgotten.

Love you, Jakey.

"LA!!"

Funny, the way it is.

Lying in the park on a beautiful day

Sunshine in the grass, and the children play

Siren's passing, fire engine red

Someone's house is burning down on a day like this

The evening comes and we're hanging out
On the front step and a car rolls by with the windows rolled down
And that war song is playing, "why can't we be friends?"
Someone is screaming and crying in the apartment upstairs

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
Somebody's going hungry and someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody's heart is broken and it becomes your favorite song

The way your mouth feels in your lovers kiss
Like a pretty bird on a breeze or water to a fish
A bomb blast brings a building crashing to the floor
You hear the laughter while the children play war

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier's last breath his baby's being born

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me
It must've been much harder when there was no bridge, just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

Watch the sky, the jet planes, so far out of my reach
Is there someone up there looking down on me?
Boy chase a bird, so close but every time
He'll never catch her, but he can't stop trying

Funny the way it is, if you think about it.

-Dave Matthews Band-

Five days left of 2010.

So, obviously it's that time you start to look back and think about the year gone by.

I don't have much to say about it. Not here, anyway.

But, it was big. Freakin' fast. But, big.

Ironic. Greater the mass, slower the speed?

Well, I've heard elephants are fast when they want to be.

Ok, that has nothing to do with my point.

I started the year out (on blogspot) tripping on the Kinks, Shaggy and Jimmy Eat World! :)

I just didn't feel like letting my last post be a random re-post game I saw on The Mraz's page.

So, I was thinking about what to write.

I don't usually have to "think" about what to post.

When I feel like, I do.

This time the only feeling I had was, "MANIA will not be my last post. JUST."

I'm probably going to bore some of you with the randomness of this post.

I apologize.

But, it's my blog. And, I have to admit, even after over a year, it's still mostly for me.

When I started to force myself to "think" about 2010, it was amusing how the words "Funny, the way it is" just kept coming to mind. You know, I never have, still don't and probably never will understand any of the things I WISH to understand. And there are so many. To sum it up for you, I want to understand why things are the way they are. I don't.

OK. That just sounds stupid in retrospect.

No one does.

(I really hate this. You know, when you think you've thought of something superbly profound and then you write it down or think about it again and all it does is sound "stupid" for you. I don't like it. It happens too often.)

Ok, well anyway.. moving on (or back-- to the point?)

'Funny, the way it is' is one of my personal favourtie Dave Matthews Band songs.

And it's all that came to mind.

Have you ever experienced loving a song, listening to it (many times), loving it every time you've listened to it, but overall, you've never really taken it all in. For instance, I think today was the first time I really paid attention to this song. Lyrics. Beats. Rhythm. Music. Video. Everything.

I saw what it was really saying.

It's pretty brilliant. And it IS funny, the way it is. It's ironic too, but it's definitely funny.

2010 has been pretty epic. It's been quite the close to a decade or start to a decade.

Yes, I'm still confused about how to count decades!

I'm not going to recount the year, for those of you who're still reading, for whatever reason you're still reading!

I'm just going to say that it was every adjective, colour and song you can think of.

And, I know there's a huge possibility 2011 is going to be similar.

If it is. I can't wait.

If it's better. I hope I can take it!

If it's worse. It too shall pass.

For what has been, I'm (mostly) thankful.

For the parts I'm not so thankful for, I've accepted.

For what is, I'm happy and gathering courage.

For what will be, I'm willing. (ish)

Here's to just another year gone by.
In itself, an entire lifetime.

MANIA

My Underground

My underground is a strange, confusing place
Nonetheless, my constant retreat
I still can't seem to give it a face
Or define for you, what it means to me

Beyond the realms of comprehension

Sometimes, too hard to understand

A sanctuary amidst the tension

A war-zone when I've lost command

With The Underground that is your own

You could possibly relate

Your safety net when you're falling... alone

In a cold world, that warm embrace

Exclusively mine for none to see

Where everything's said and anything goes

A carefree space... just to be

Where my secrets hide and my spirit grows

To know me well, I'd tell you all

If my trust in you is sound

But, to see my soul you'd need the gall

to take me on, in my Underground

Bucket Listing Everyday!

So many random things to say.
I love 'The Buried Life'. And I've watched only one episode. I don't even know when I'll catch another!
But I caught this one at the right time.
I needed something positive.
I'm generally positive without any help.
But today I needed help.
Waali is always the first to a rescue on most days;
This time only second to this show.
Now I'm not about to become an ardent follower, simply because I don't think I'm capable of ardently following ANYthing, but that's not going to keep me from loving the philosophy.
It's very "Pay It Forward"-like and THAT was one of the few movies that moved me so much, I cried and everything!

I used to think about what I wanted to do with my life "in the big picture" a lot. I still do.
But a couple of years ago (when I was more active in the SSU-our youth group), I used to think a lot about how I wanted to 'change lives' ultimately, one way or another.
I credit that mostly to my parents.
I still know that that's what I want to do, but along the way, it's been pretty easy getting self-involved and distracted with the everyday happy/sad nonsense life serves on it's messy platter.
I just realized, I haven't thought about or envisioned hypothetical situations of that dream coming true often enough lately. I used to have movies play out in my head before!
In some intense conversations in the past, I was faced repeatedly with the same question:
"Why are you studying THIS?
OR
Why are you pursuing THAT."
I still am.

And of course the answers might seem selfish at first.
The answers are simple, after all.
I'm doing the things I do because they interest ME,
Because 'I' want to be able to,
Because they offer me the opportunity to stand out with whatever skills I develop in the process,
but above all, and most importantly, learning things or being the best version of yourself only renders YOU that much more capable of making an impact or a change, first hand.
It makes it that much 'easier' (as inappropriate as the word 'easy' may be) to make a difference.
I'm an architecture student and I joke about how I'm a work in progress, like most of us.
Under construction.
I have a long way to go.
But I believe in getting there.

I think everyone has a right to be different and be sure about it.
Bring something unique to the table.
Your chances of making an unforgettable, 'sizable' mark, are better that way.
All this remains entirely relative to your perception of size.
Changing one life is as big as changing a million, when it's for the better.
In the end, I maintain,
to each his/her own.
Another reason I love the concept of "The Buried Life" is 'cause there's really nothing 'holier than thou' about it. In fact, it's about fulfilling your own dreams (however ridiculous they may be) to help others do exactly that for themselves.
And if you think about it, it's pretty fundamental in every way isn't it?
How can you make anyone happy unless you're happy yourself!

So, positivity struck.
And that's good.
And while the bigger picture is still a while away, there's Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) for now.
RAK is a little something that we all do without realizing.
When you buy that beggar on the road a meal or help a struggling stranger with their bags or take the trouble to tell the lady riding pillion on the bike that her dupatta is dangerously close to the back wheel or just smile (not creepily) at a passer by - to quote the average, everyday, most common RAKs -
you're making a difference.
So why not just consciously make a bigger effort? =)