Beautiful Mess.

I just changed my status on FB to
"Larika Mallier has a super power. Running in all directions. At the same time."
Then I leaned back, after publishing I might add, to think about it.
Yeah, it totally contradicts itself.. much like, lots of things I say.
But, I like contradictions, and thats another topic altogether!
So, the point-
is my super power really just "stationarianism"? (yes, I totally just made up that word)
What I'm asking is, isn't running in all directions really not going anywhere at all?
Being stationary?
(step out of your stereotypical thought processes and screw physics.. and get a little philosophically creative here, about what I'm trying to say.)
It's the feeling you get when you're doing a gazillion (to be completely exaggerating) or two things at one time, to put it quite simply.
It can really get so frustrating, and all you can think about is "SCREW everything. I'm going to CHILL!"
Even that is DOING something! There's no escape!
You get the feeling that you're not really doing anything even though you're doing quite a lot!
We have this insane capacity to distort things, especially related to us, in our minds.
But, despite feelings like the ones I mentioned, there are the good ones...
the feeling of being busy and useful in more than just one place,
the feeling of peace when you DO decide to chill (now that wouldn't be as beautiful if we'd had everything figured out and running smoothly all the time, would it?),
the feeling of happiness within, when the whole world thinks your priorities are messed up, but deep inside you know what's important to you and what makes you happy, and you're doing it anyway(and not totally disappointing the world either)!
Sometimes it probably feels like you're never doing justice to what you're doing in the present because thoughts of everything else keep running through your mind, and then you develop the skill to 'tune out' too! perfect!
So I think, that in the end, it boils down to the kind of person you are.
And I'm pretty sure I'm the kind that loves the unpredictability of chaos as well as a little order once in a while.
But a classic Arien, easily bored, must always be entertained I suppose!
(I''m a poet, did you know it?)
This post is just a random rambling of thoughts uncensored through my mind.
Don't take it too seriously, I may think differently after publishing it, leaning back and thinking about it! :)
Beautiful Mess!