Shove?

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it...
-P!nk
"You have been to hell, Ketut?"
He smiled. Of course he's been there.
What's it like in hell?"
Same like in heaven," he said.
He saw my confusion and tried to explain. "Universe is a circle, Liss."
He said. "To up, to down -- all same, at end."
I remembered an old Christian mystic notion: As above, so below.
I asked. "Then how can you tell the difference between heaven and hell?"
Because of how you go. Heaven, you go up, through seven happy places. Hell, you go down, through seven sad places. This is why it better for you to go up, Liss." He laughed.
Same-same," he said. "Same in end, so better to be happy in journey."
I said, "So, if heaven is love, then hell is.. "
Love, too," he said.
Ketut laughed again, "Always so difficult for young people to understand this!" — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
I have so much I'm looking for at this moment in my life.
But all I really want is Peace.
I'm torn between many things.
A career choice that I'm not sure of.
And what makes it worse is that I'm still in the education phase of it!
This is scary.
I'm very often doubtful of myself; What I'm capable of.
I think that I'm not good enough. And really, I'm not.
But I know that I can be if I want to.
And of course I want to. Who doesn't want to be good enough.
But, WHAT do I want to be good enough at?
And I'm searching for God.
I know he's there.
I believe in him. But still, I don't always feel him.
Not because he's busy, more because I live unconsciously sometimes.
I love myself. But I'm disappointing me right now.
I need to change. I must.
I have so much to offer, and so much to receive from this life.
I just need a shove to help me start.
Where to get this shove from, I don't know.
Me?
I'm searching... And I always will be...
I just hope I start finding things soon!
Yes, I am lonely; despite all the love that surrounds me.
That makes me selfish too!
I'm weak and knowing that makes me stronger.
The first step to making any change is admitting that there is a need for one in the first place.
Well there is definitely a need for one, here.
I am the voice of many people I know and even don't.
I speak for myself and those who won't or can't.
I'm fearful and flawed.
I'm hopeful and willing.
Now I'm getting up on my feet because it's time to start moving!